LOVE IS NO RESPECTOR OF CLASS BOUNDARIES
The late Soldier Lucious Banda in one
of his albums did a song titled ‘Mphawi uja’ which in literal translation
means ‘that poor man’.
It is a song that tells a story of a
poor young man, the son of a house servant called Chule who worked for a
wealthy family. His family survived on leftovers from the rich household.
But life, as it often does,
complicated the social order. Chule’s son fell in love with the rich man’s
daughter.
Predictably, the relationship met
strong opposition especially from the rich parents. And to separate the two,
the daughter was sent abroad for studies.
Yet fate had other plans. It is Banda’s
story in the song that Chule’s son later earned a scholarship through
missionaries and went abroad as well. There he reunited with his childhood
sweetheart the richman’s daughter. They replayed their love story from where it
had paused and went ahead to build a family together.
Years went by and it was time to come
back home; then came the shock.
On the fateful day the rich family and
perhaps in company of friends thronged the airport, to welcome back their
accomplished daughter.
The daughter disembarked from the
plane carrying a baby, beside a familiar male face, Chule Jr. The very young
man they once rejected and tried to erase from their daughter’s life. True love
simply found its way back home.
The story, if you ask me, carries a
lesson many parents struggle to accept. You can shape values for your children,
but you cannot write their stories of love.
Do not get me wrong. Parents have a duty
and a God given responsibility to intervene where there is abuse, danger
manipulation or destructive conduct, but when they reject people simply because
they do not fit a preferred social
standard, they may unintentionally be creating wounds that are deeper than they
will ever know.
More importantly, in today’s social
media age, parents must become extremely careful about how they handle family
matters publicly.
Moments of anger can become permanent
public records. Humiliating a daughter online, directly or indirectly, exposes
her to ridicule, mockery, unnecessary pressure, and emotional distress from
strangers who have no business caring about her wellbeing.
Even future relationships can be
affected.
I say this not merely as an observer,
but as someone who experienced a unique father-daughter relationship myself.
I love to say that it was a ‘Tom and
Jerry’ kind of affair yet very special.
My late father anchored his parenting
on values, education, discipline, and Christianity.
He protected without suffocating, corrected
without controlling and guided without dictating. Thet perhaps is what true
parenthood should look like.
Children do not need parents who
micromanage every emotional decision they make.
Know when to hold tightly and when to
slowly loosen the grip.
Having said that, it feels good to be
back. Better Sundays are ahead of us.
Chao!
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